Post by lost on Mar 4, 2018 12:02:45 GMT
I lost my best friend 2 years ago and I’m still waking up to cry many mornings. We had so much fun together. She was the best auntie to my kids. I had no idea she was drinking as much as she was, but she died terribly from it. By the time we all caught up to her tricks she was unconscious bleeding out internally from the multiple ulcers she’d developed. I hate that I let her do that to herself. I should’ve seen it sooner, and called her out on what I now know were the lies of an addict wanting to hold on to her addiction. I should’ve been able to do something.
Some days I’m ok. Sometimes a week will go by, then I see something in a grocery store that reminds me of our crazy cooking nights, or I’ll see something in a mall that I know she would’ve loved. Sometimes I have started to text her and then catch myself. It’s still an automatic response to so many things for me. I just want to reach out to my friend and then I remember that she’s gone. That’s when the heavy crippling wave of sadness hits me like a ton of bricks and I’ve got to really quickly occupy myself somehow so I don’t cry like a baby. I save the crying until my husband and kids are asleep.
I thought it would be easier by now
Some days I’m ok. Sometimes a week will go by, then I see something in a grocery store that reminds me of our crazy cooking nights, or I’ll see something in a mall that I know she would’ve loved. Sometimes I have started to text her and then catch myself. It’s still an automatic response to so many things for me. I just want to reach out to my friend and then I remember that she’s gone. That’s when the heavy crippling wave of sadness hits me like a ton of bricks and I’ve got to really quickly occupy myself somehow so I don’t cry like a baby. I save the crying until my husband and kids are asleep.
I thought it would be easier by now